Now when I’m on this path of beauty, there is less time to work and more money goes to sessions, rituals, self care and healing. Uhhh... I have this big trust that money wants to go where the light is. Also money, which if you take a look at it also is just an energy. Energy wants to flow and stay on the right path.. as I believe. We all do, right? Sometimes I'm losing this faith and get worried about all the transformation changes regarding my daily life.. including my waiting for a suited working project instead of doing something that is not in line with the feeling of being correct to me. My brother who is also doing a lot of light-work said yesterday after I shared my experience of the latest shamanic ceremony. "Esther even if this was your last 50 euros spent, it was the best choice in your life". And yes he is right. 

Friday September 6th - whatsapp to my dear friend 

Dear Oyunga, I want to share with you the experience and travel I had this week in shamanic ceremony. We traveled north on the medicine wheel and I've met my inner elder for the first time. How I experienced it was clearness, quality of being able to hold what is inside. The grace of holding yourself like a swan is able to. I found the wise woman, the old mother in myself who can just be. And from this just be, is able to observe and be the truth. I experience that there is no “giving” in this state. Just by being the truth gives other people the possibility to be their truth. I still need to integrate this in me, but I feel very blessed for this divine moment on my path for this to happen. Hope you and family are well! Ejoy ☀️🌸✨ 

What! I need to be running close to 40 years old to find my unique feminine energy? 

But once I experienced it, it was …oh wow, this pure, soft, light, fertile flowing energy. It is love, it is flowing, it is serene, it is grace, it has fragile in it, instinct on such a high level. I can go on writing about it and when I express this in words I feel it so strong in my lower belly, relief of being seen, allow it to be. It has nothing to do with the way you look, dress, age, even to me it is not sexual in the way I used to think about it. Exactly what I felt was not sexual at all. But when I choose to give expression to it on a sensual level it is very nurturing to myself. I want to cherish this gift of being a female, being able to experience the feminine energy and you know what, I don't even have to share it. It is just there for me to experience. What a gift of life! 

The first time I heard a podcast of JannekevanderMeulen.nl she shocked me, this message went all the way inside to my soul and a voice loud and clear came to me; this is the only truth there is about food, the human body and Mother Earth. Based on a very simple top 5. 

Not always so simple to me.. yes I know it works like crazy, it is truly a win win situation. It brings health in you body. Higher frequency not only in the body but in all levels of your being, you can go crazy in the gym, your sleep is perfect, your love towards nature will heal because you don’t take more then necessary, and the guilt maybe on a subconscious level toward Mother Earth will fade.

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But some days maybe ego is there, maybe something else and it is just not so easy to me, then cheese is calling me, bread is calling me, lasagna is calling me.. sometimes wine also. My base is good. It is 80% win win. But the day I can leave the last 20% I’ll be grateful for myself. I noticed in my path of healing that you can just leave it some day, without pulling or pushing too much.. Just by healing yourself on all levels will just release you from bad habits. 

Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6SYazFtAt0UhDRmhG4TtDN?si=2_27CUIBSb-QGiWVpHh0jA&nd=1&dlsi=e1a1dca7a9904fb5

The use of these words resonate deep inside me. It is all beauty. 

If we look at it in dualism, yes there is also the ugly. If there is mud, and believe me I have seen mud, there is always a lotus flower in it, waiting to blossom. A lesson to learn, a gift to find. This week I was in search of the right paste to walk this path. My path of beauty. You know me, sometimes I like to run. Get the answers, get the healing, based on new insight, change things around and yes fixed.. but I missed steps and most importantly I lost joy. 

I felt that I needed to change the paste again, start walking it again, look around and enjoy the sightseeing while walking this life path. As my shamanic mentor is always saying, you have your whole life for this. What a relief.

“Shine your body, it is time already, shine your body. Body will shine bling bling body”

I hear this song of Beyonce :-) I like this song, It helped me to find permission to investigate my bling bling body. 

I see this vision of this light vibration body with blings around it, who is seen, who is cherished, who is well fed, who likes to move. This body wants to move, it is made to move. It moves inside all the time, there is a process of contant movement inside. Once you choose to let your body shine. It will come back to you like a boomrang. It will give an immediate response of light and joy in all other levels of your being. Just take a step towards body awareness, take some time to help it get back in good movement, get to know your body, what it needs, how it feels happy, try to listen to the subtle things inside. 

It is time already to shine your body!